Last Friday, I
was invited to a party over at Damiens house. Nothing out of
the ordinary. It was a surprise birthday party for his buddy
Stoney Stoned. (Stoney for short). As the night rolled on,
quite a few friends showed up. And quite a bit of alcohol
dissapeared. The music got louder and the beers went faster.
It was the second time I had met Stoney. This time around,
Stoney was a little cockier and felt the need to show his
drinking skills. He was no match though.
As morning crept on, more and
more people started to drop like flies. The next thing I knew
it was about 4:30 AM. The last 4 standing were myself, Damien,
Stoney, and Todd, who was still a little upset about his
stripper from about a month ago. The next fly to drop would be
Todd, who made a quick retreat to Damiens restroom to barf his
brains out. One down, 3 to go.
During the commotion of Todds
retreat, Stoney dissapeared. Damien and I hardly noticed that
Stoney was missing, as we were engulfed in Jagermeister. The
two of us traded the bottle, a few beers and some good
memories. In our drunken slur, we finally noticed that Stoney
was gone. So we stumbled around the pad looking for him. We
both end up at the hallway bathroom door. The door is closed
and there is no answer. In general concern for Stoney, we
break into the bathroom. Only to find a boy and his turd.
For there on the floor, lays
Stoney, his back towards us, pants around his ankles, with his
shaved apricot-like nutsack hanging out between his legs,
dried barf flowing from his mouth, and a turd on the toliet
seat. Out of sheer enjoyment of this site, Damien ran to get a
camera. Only to find, he had no film. So in a drunken stupor,
with the sun coming up, Damien and I stumble down the block to
the grocery store, where we grabbed some munchies and a roll
of film. We make our way back, Stoney's still in place. Damien
attempts to load the camera with film. It's amazing we can
stand, let alone speak.
Suddenly, disaster strikes.
Wasted Damien has lost all concept on film loading. So I, in
my drunken wisdom, decide to take control. As Damien hands me
the camera, with half the roll falling out, I decide to cut
off the excess and start from scratch. The excess being about
2 feet of film. Needless to say, the film was never loaded.
After approximately a half an hour and a few more shots, we
both give up and pass out.
I woke up at about 10 AM on
Damiens floor in his office still drunk, I decide that I am
going to take a piss and go home. I go back into the hallway
bathroom to find that Stoney is gone, but the turd remains. I
have no idea what happened to him, but Damien and I KNEW what
we saw. We were a little bummed that we couldn't get a picture
of a boy and his turd. So the only proof we have is our spoken
word. |