| 1:30 p.m. I
roll up to Damien's house equipped with my signature potato
salad, Dr. Pepper, my smokes, and mine and Damien's favorite
party favor, 'It's all about the Backwoods' (those are cigars
for you dumb-asses). As I stroll into Damien's house, I notice
that there are alot of people sitting around, waiting for the
game to start, and chatting it up. At first I don't spot
Damien anywhere in the living room, and after a few greetings
and salutations, I go to the backyard and find Damien and some
of my other close friends enjoying some frosty beverages and
burnin' some 'hippy hay'. I walk right up to Damien and give
him a courtesy reach-around, (cause we're GOOD LIKE THAT!). He
was conversing with some of our friends and two lovely ladies
that I had never seen before... but wanted to know.
As the party progressed, more
and more people were making their appearance on what is the
greatest day in sports, 'SuperBowl Sunday'. Once I had settled
in to the mood of the day, I started off with a Jack and Dr.
Pepper, and started to work the room.
3:05 p.m. Everyone was taking
their seats for a good vantage point from one of the many
monitors that Mr. LaVey had around his chateau. As we sat
through all the pre-game bullshit, Damien was frantically
running around the house trying to get a last-minute football
pool together, cause we love to gamble! I, myself, bought ten
squares. I never win this shit, but it's all about gamblin'.
3:18 p.m. Kickoff. By now,
the house is full of half-drunk freaks. The house was evenly
divided for the two teams for this game. So you can imagine,
alot of smack-talkin' was floatin' in the air. One of my
favorite models from the Three Sixes photo shoot, Kai Lee and
myself were enjoying some food and Jagermeister shots when she
flashed me her tits. So I told her that if she was going to
continue showing her tits, she might as well take off the
whole jacket, so she did. She had nothing on under her jacket
(which is nothing new if you know her) except a pair of combat
boots. There is nothing like the site of a naked woman in
combat boots walking around during a football game. You won't
see this kind of shit on that PUSSY 'MAN Show'! Those guys
wish they were us!
Halftime. As we all know, the
low point of any SuperBowl is the stupid-ass, over-produced,
and over-the-top halftime fiasco. Not here!!! My good buddy,
StoNeY STonEd, (this is no typo, this is how he writes his
name), brought over for our halftime enjoyment, a nice little
ditty of his 17 year old ex-girlfriend doing herself with a
Corona bottle and playing with her enormous double-D, 17 year
old titties. This made a few of our friends VERY happy. Mr.
LaVey gave his 6 thumbs up to StoNeY's work of art.
End of 3rd Quarter. I've got
a good buzz going and I intend to keep it going. I just found
out that I had won the third quarter on the football pool.
(worth 25 bones!) I finally fucking won something!!! I am out
of smokes, so I go to my truck for a fresh pack, when I notice
a little pick-up truck with one of those bubbled camper shells
doing a slight rocking motion. So I grab my pack, light a
smoke, and being the curious pervert I am, I go to
investigate. When I look into the camper shell, I notice my
friend Stacey and some guy who I saw slurping off the
Kegerator earlier, totally buck naked, bumping uglies. So what
do I do..... I watch! You would think that I would be used to
this type of activity knowing Damien for as long as I have.
These things are always happening when I am around Damien,
even if he's not directly involved, he seems to bring out this
type of behavior in everyone around him.
7 p.m. Stacey and the scumbag
that she was fucking come into the house and try to mingle
with the rest of us, as if nothing happened. I, on the other
hand, know exactly what happened. As Stacey heads to the
bathroom to put herself back together, I notice the scumbag
pour himself another frosty one and follow her. And as I said
earlier, being the pervert that I am and love, I grab Damien
and as we head for the bathroom, following the action, I fill
him in on what I had witnessed earlier outside in the pickup
truck. We were standing outside the bathroom door, hoping to
hear some skin slappin'. But what we did hear was way better.
All I remember was hearing
Stacey say repeatedly "Leave me alone, I have to pee." The
scumbag, who we later identified as Craig, was heard begging
for Stacey to pee on his face. Next thing we heard was Craig
saying, "Yeah, that's it.." So what do think us two perverts
did next? Let's just say that the dumb-fucks forgot to lock
the door.... laying on the tile in all his glory with Stacey
squatting above his face, we saw Craig trying to catch every
bit of her 'Golden Shower'. Me and Damien laughed so hard that
WE almost pissed all over Craig ourselves! Stacey, needless to
say, ran out of the bathroom, horrified, trying to pull up her
panties while running into a room full of drunk football fans
(guys and girls). Craig just laid there with a smile on his
face... reeking of piss. He was on bathroom duty. So for the
rest of the evening, everyone was joking and laughing about
the little post-game show that me and Damien witnessed. And
for some strange reason, Stacey has not returned any of my
phone calls. (oh well..)
11:15 p.m. As I lay in bed
after jerking off, ( I just can't get that 17 year old out of
my head), I couldn't help but laugh and think to myself how
much I love SuperBowl Sunday....... at Damien's. --Tom Stud |
